It feels like yesterday when the nurse cleaned her and dressed her in a small white full sleeve cotton shirt, wrapped her in a white and pink cotton drape and placed a small blue-pink striped circular cap over her little head with a few fringes of her soft hair decorating her forehead. She had her eyes closed and was wearing a peculiar smile on her face. Looked like she dreamed while sleeping. I had the goddess in my hands. Something so beautiful could only be divine. Yes, she is divine. I could never adore her enough, as I fed her. She slept all that time, and I have never ever seen such a serene face. One look at her face, and all my pain vanished.
With every passing day, she looks even more adorable, her features taking prettier shape, skin starting to tighten up and glow in shades of baby pink and golden. Eyes more wide open than before, that's when I notice, she has my eyes. Big and in a shade of brown, although she gives a reflection of her father now. Those five days in the hospital were the days when I learned everything I needed to start nourishing her. I adored her every minute, specially after I fed her, she used to cuddle up inside and doze off while I fed her. She looked so beautiful when she slept like that, absolutely adorable with those hair strands on her forehead, they made her look divine, its not that she isn't .! So, engrossed in her beauty I forgot to burp her after feeding her the first time. She started crying a few hours later and I couldn't understand why.. That's when the mother inside me started to come more into picture. I was nervous, anxious wondering if I had done something wrong or forgot something important, shattering at the thought of being the reason to something troubling her. Still not well myself, I started panicking, which I never really do, I am known for being calm and composed.. but I panicked... which made me realize my love for her.
The nurse told me never to forget to burp her after feeding because babies cannot do that by themselves and they ingest a lot of air while drinking milk. She took her from me, to the nursery and burped her, calming her down and calming me down as well. She offered me to take her to the nursery for a while so that I can get some sleep and rest, but i was not sure. Many mothers did that to get some rest, they gave their babies away to the nursery to be there in all by themselves, but I couldn't do it. I felt it was a little selfish, I have my baby and I am going to work hard for her right from day one. I have pledged to protect her, be with her till the time she needs me, and when its time for me to let her do things on her own and be by herself, I will. I'll just stand by and watch in case she needs me. But today and now, she deserves to spend her time in my lap, in my arms with my warmth and not in a crib located in a large cold room. I promised myself that I'll take some extra sleep after a few days when I take her home. I had her place set in my room long before and she blended right in. Seemed like she has been there already and she really was.
Since that day, till today .. I have been learning continuously just as she is. I can see the brightness in her eyes when she sees something new. I might have seen that before but it feels new to me. The world is so big and she hasn't seen it all, she is excited most of the times in anticipation of seeing and learning something new everyday. First there were actions and small gestures, then came along voices and words. New way of playing with same toys. The same place where she wakes up everyday doesn't look old to her. She looks at the place in a different way everyday. At 9 months she started walking confidently, and then the world was a single marathon. She wanted to defeat everyone, briskly swaying with tiny steps, running in such an adorable way, a little hopper.. hopping around briskly. No adult can do it even if they tried to. So she hopped and I hopped along with her, we both hopped on sunny afternoons, walked on beaches, played in the water, ate mac and cheese..
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